Saturday, February 15, 201411:40 PM
■ my life so far
Hello blog,
Its been a long time since I updated you. So many things happened since then.
The transition between 2013 and 2014 was horrible for me. I think it's safe to say it was the worst period of my 22 years so far. It was so horrible that I broke down infront of my friend regardless of how much I held back; so horrible that I started putting blames on others for my life; so horrible that I had suicidal thoughts (but of course, I don't have the guts to do it lah).
Horrible things decide to start stacking up right after. That incident, can't find a job, people pressuring me to find a job (not like I don't want right?) I kept telling myself the worse will be over, and what doesn't kill me will make me stronger (boss' ringtone kept telling me so). It was a period of self-psychoing, only that it didn't help as much.
But now that it's almost solved (I guess? I don't want to ask too), and my pms is over, I sat down and think....... I think I matured a little? I grew up a little? I used to not be able to keep my emotions to myself, but now I can at least do so a bit better. I could still joke with my colleagues at work, at least they didn't suspect anything was wrong 'cept for that 1 day.
I am very thankful for all the friends I have in my life; everyone was there for me. I am sorry I really didn't want to share my problems with you because it's really personal; I hope you understand. Thank you. & I love you.
So I went Korea again, this being my 6th time there. It was a #YOLO trip, I was all alone most of the time. I stayed at Ayu's house together with Kea. Although there were hiccups here and there, but I am thankful for this trip. I can proudly say I have traveled alone, it was a whole new experience.
I was there for The Three Musketeers musical that Sungmin was in. He was amazing as usual. ♥ Idk if that's the last time I will see him before he enlist :( I will wait for you!!!!
Its been a long time since I updated you. So many things happened since then.
The transition between 2013 and 2014 was horrible for me. I think it's safe to say it was the worst period of my 22 years so far. It was so horrible that I broke down infront of my friend regardless of how much I held back; so horrible that I started putting blames on others for my life; so horrible that I had suicidal thoughts (but of course, I don't have the guts to do it lah).
Horrible things decide to start stacking up right after. That incident, can't find a job, people pressuring me to find a job (not like I don't want right?) I kept telling myself the worse will be over, and what doesn't kill me will make me stronger (boss' ringtone kept telling me so). It was a period of self-psychoing, only that it didn't help as much.
But now that it's almost solved (I guess? I don't want to ask too), and my pms is over, I sat down and think....... I think I matured a little? I grew up a little? I used to not be able to keep my emotions to myself, but now I can at least do so a bit better. I could still joke with my colleagues at work, at least they didn't suspect anything was wrong 'cept for that 1 day.
I am very thankful for all the friends I have in my life; everyone was there for me. I am sorry I really didn't want to share my problems with you because it's really personal; I hope you understand. Thank you. & I love you.
So I went Korea again, this being my 6th time there. It was a #YOLO trip, I was all alone most of the time. I stayed at Ayu's house together with Kea. Although there were hiccups here and there, but I am thankful for this trip. I can proudly say I have traveled alone, it was a whole new experience.
I was there for The Three Musketeers musical that Sungmin was in. He was amazing as usual. ♥ Idk if that's the last time I will see him before he enlist :( I will wait for you!!!!
