Sunday, August 11, 20139:57 PM
■ Reflection
The other day I watched the 9pm channel 8 show, and there is this lady in the drama that craved for love so bad. She is portrayed as an 'easy' girl as she is very approachable towards guys and all. But through a few events, she eventually couldn't get the guy she wants and ultimately got misunderstood by him. When her best friend finally advised her and she finally saw the light, she said this is the show:
“先爱我自己，照顾我自己”
It got me down to thinking, do I really need a boyf? I am happy by my own now, I don't have to live my life for someone else. I can be myself. I don't have to put on a facade. I barely have time to complete all the things I want to do now, do I even have time for myself if I really got myself a boyf?
I was reflecting back the other day, I realised that I am actually afraid to open myself up. Despite how much I want another shoulder to lean on when I am tired, I repulse the idea of having one even more. Maybe because I refuse to let go of the person who tugged on my heart string, or it might be because of the commitment I have to put in. I was also afraid I am not the kind of girlf the guy wants.
I mean, I am a boring person to hang out with; I often to a full stop to conversations that can actually be continued; I am too serious to even talk about happy things; And, I am too obsessed with my idols. Which guy can accept his girlf to be cray over her idols that she go to the extend of going overseas to see him; spazzing like a cray fangirl even when all he did was to smile at her; and even missing him so much that she so tempted to do all the crazy things like going to Korea again etc?
I am willing to tone down all these if I really found my Mr Right (or him). But......... the moment I took my first step out of Singapore to watch Ming's musical, can I really stop/ tone down that easily? I really ask myself.
My friend said that she feels being in a relationship doesn't mean I've to give up on my idols. But........ no guys like it regardless of how gentlemanly he is. Its like how I don't like my guy to look at a pretty lady.
Mehhhhhh, idk. I am so ironic.
“先爱我自己，照顾我自己”
It got me down to thinking, do I really need a boyf? I am happy by my own now, I don't have to live my life for someone else. I can be myself. I don't have to put on a facade. I barely have time to complete all the things I want to do now, do I even have time for myself if I really got myself a boyf?
I was reflecting back the other day, I realised that I am actually afraid to open myself up. Despite how much I want another shoulder to lean on when I am tired, I repulse the idea of having one even more. Maybe because I refuse to let go of the person who tugged on my heart string, or it might be because of the commitment I have to put in. I was also afraid I am not the kind of girlf the guy wants.
I mean, I am a boring person to hang out with; I often to a full stop to conversations that can actually be continued; I am too serious to even talk about happy things; And, I am too obsessed with my idols. Which guy can accept his girlf to be cray over her idols that she go to the extend of going overseas to see him; spazzing like a cray fangirl even when all he did was to smile at her; and even missing him so much that she so tempted to do all the crazy things like going to Korea again etc?
I am willing to tone down all these if I really found my Mr Right (or him). But......... the moment I took my first step out of Singapore to watch Ming's musical, can I really stop/ tone down that easily? I really ask myself.
My friend said that she feels being in a relationship doesn't mean I've to give up on my idols. But........ no guys like it regardless of how gentlemanly he is. Its like how I don't like my guy to look at a pretty lady.
Mehhhhhh, idk. I am so ironic.
