Thursday, February 16, 20123:36 AM
■ Comfort Zone
My parents allow me to take on Design course after poly, but that would mean I've to start Diploma all over again? Another sum of money that made me reconsider.......
The thought of me going for Design kinda scares me... What if the people there are all pros in design & I'm not? What if they already knew more than what I know- when all along I thought I was good enough. I've been comparing myself with people I shouldn't compare with, it's like comparing an apple with an orange. Maybe I'm really not that good afterall....
I'm just comfortable in what I've been doing. Going for something that I've not really tried really.. it just scares me. What if this sum of money spent goes to waste? Like maybe, after I complete the whole course and finds that Design is not for me? Its too large a sum to learn from a mistake, sigh.
But if I don't try, how would I know???
Sigh, if only I've the money to explore my own interest.
My parents have been urging me to think the path I want to take. I really have no idea. SIM or SMA? I hate it when I've to make an important decision. I know it's just the start, I'd have to make more important decisions in future... Like buying houses, investments (?) etc.
If only I have the grade, I would without any second thoughts, without any hesistation and sign on local university. It'd have saved me alot of troubles and brain cells and worries. Who to blame? Me. For being so stupid.
Really, the thought of me unable to get into local university just demoralise me so badly. I really have been just a moderate student for the past 12 years. Why can't I be an A student? I tried so hard, but its not reaping what I sow. Out of the 12 years, I only need myself to be excellent for just 1 year. Brain, is it so hard for you?
& people would say I deserve to be just a moderate student. Because of the hobby I took up- idoling.
But without my idols, I don't think I will be here, literally. This world is so blardy fucked up that I really don't think I would stay alive. At least they brought my world a little bit of colours, a little bit of positivity, a little bit of faith. A little more reason to believe.
Now people would comment on how immature I am to think that my life revolve around my idols only. You're wrong, and you don't judge. I don't know where to start to tell you how I lost the faith I've for this world. You have your own hobby, I've my own.
I think I'm starting to type out of topic -_- K BYE.
The thought of me going for Design kinda scares me... What if the people there are all pros in design & I'm not? What if they already knew more than what I know- when all along I thought I was good enough. I've been comparing myself with people I shouldn't compare with, it's like comparing an apple with an orange. Maybe I'm really not that good afterall....
I'm just comfortable in what I've been doing. Going for something that I've not really tried really.. it just scares me. What if this sum of money spent goes to waste? Like maybe, after I complete the whole course and finds that Design is not for me? Its too large a sum to learn from a mistake, sigh.
But if I don't try, how would I know???
Sigh, if only I've the money to explore my own interest.
My parents have been urging me to think the path I want to take. I really have no idea. SIM or SMA? I hate it when I've to make an important decision. I know it's just the start, I'd have to make more important decisions in future... Like buying houses, investments (?) etc.
If only I have the grade, I would without any second thoughts, without any hesistation and sign on local university. It'd have saved me alot of troubles and brain cells and worries. Who to blame? Me. For being so stupid.
Really, the thought of me unable to get into local university just demoralise me so badly. I really have been just a moderate student for the past 12 years. Why can't I be an A student? I tried so hard, but its not reaping what I sow. Out of the 12 years, I only need myself to be excellent for just 1 year. Brain, is it so hard for you?
& people would say I deserve to be just a moderate student. Because of the hobby I took up- idoling.
But without my idols, I don't think I will be here, literally. This world is so blardy fucked up that I really don't think I would stay alive. At least they brought my world a little bit of colours, a little bit of positivity, a little bit of faith. A little more reason to believe.
Now people would comment on how immature I am to think that my life revolve around my idols only. You're wrong, and you don't judge. I don't know where to start to tell you how I lost the faith I've for this world. You have your own hobby, I've my own.
I think I'm starting to type out of topic -_- K BYE.
