Monday, August 6, 200711:33 PM
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& so, it's my responsibility to look after my DAD's stuff HUR!?
so it was my fault that its missing now?
so im supposed to look for it tmr, oh and i dont have to revise for my common test yea?
so i was supposed to feel apologic about it?
i really wonder why do i study so hard. it's my future, if i don't care, why do others care. & i realised i studied because of my parents. i fear they would reprimand me, i fear that i'll disappoint them, i fear that i will disgrace them. & after studying so much, what do i get in return? other than a few minutes of compliments/reward, nothing.
this home which i dont understand. i don't talk back because i'm always in the wrong in YOUR eyes. no matter what i say, you're right & i'm wrong. if i were to argue back, i would be deemed as a disrespectful kid, & you would have more to reprimand me for. so what for defend myself when i'm always "wrong". adults never give their child the freedom to express themselves and admit that THEY are in the wrong when it's not their child's. rights.
yada yada yada, i hear people talking behind my back. do i care? NO. i had enough okay. things ain't going as well as i thought for me. losing my confidence to sit for a paper, losing my cool, and severe moodswings. im dead beat.
i hate all these that i'm going through now. these are not all, i'm sure there'll be more in the future. how am i going to .. i dono.
someone once said to talk to someone i trust, someone who understand me. i tried. but i don't think anyone understand how i feel now. even if he/she does, i don't think i would listen.
sigh. i hate being emo kays. i might seem cheerful in front of you girls, but that might not be how i feel. (feel i admit that my mood always show on my face, but sometimes, i don show)
can someone tell me why was i ever born. to go through all these? i rather not.
so it was my fault that its missing now?
so im supposed to look for it tmr, oh and i dont have to revise for my common test yea?
so i was supposed to feel apologic about it?
i really wonder why do i study so hard. it's my future, if i don't care, why do others care. & i realised i studied because of my parents. i fear they would reprimand me, i fear that i'll disappoint them, i fear that i will disgrace them. & after studying so much, what do i get in return? other than a few minutes of compliments/reward, nothing.
this home which i dont understand. i don't talk back because i'm always in the wrong in YOUR eyes. no matter what i say, you're right & i'm wrong. if i were to argue back, i would be deemed as a disrespectful kid, & you would have more to reprimand me for. so what for defend myself when i'm always "wrong". adults never give their child the freedom to express themselves and admit that THEY are in the wrong when it's not their child's. rights.
yada yada yada, i hear people talking behind my back. do i care? NO. i had enough okay. things ain't going as well as i thought for me. losing my confidence to sit for a paper, losing my cool, and severe moodswings. im dead beat.
i hate all these that i'm going through now. these are not all, i'm sure there'll be more in the future. how am i going to .. i dono.
someone once said to talk to someone i trust, someone who understand me. i tried. but i don't think anyone understand how i feel now. even if he/she does, i don't think i would listen.
sigh. i hate being emo kays. i might seem cheerful in front of you girls, but that might not be how i feel. (feel i admit that my mood always show on my face, but sometimes, i don show)
can someone tell me why was i ever born. to go through all these? i rather not.
